32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
