Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize