HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do herpes really smell.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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