don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
