Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
