I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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