I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
