I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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