I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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