everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
be right there i have to get my cape
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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