he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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