Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize