We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
