I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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