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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

  (904): View more from Florida

  FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY

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