another moral hangover. fuck.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
