I can't watch pbs sober anymore
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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