He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
