took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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