My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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