ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
