I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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