Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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