Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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