Sponge bath it is.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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