plz talk dirty to me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
