THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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