My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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