its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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