this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
