I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
