like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the day after is always just damage control
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
