Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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