I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
