i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
