8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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