Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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