Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
