Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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