i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize