Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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