This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
