I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize