NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
