he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
