I murdered the dance floor call the cops
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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