We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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