So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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