i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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