A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
