Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
