I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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