Ambien. No doubt about it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize