I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.