I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"