Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to wash the frat house off of me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
