I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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