So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
