No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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