The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
