apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
