I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
